Sustaining Ties through Compassion

Sometimes it may be hard to believe, but we are all have the capacity to be righteous. A person’s “not so right” behavior is usually indicative of the state of their energetic field. Our energy either nurtures “righteousness” or the contrary. If there is someone in your life that you love, and you trust that they love you, but they seem to keep doing things that hurt you or bother you, consider this…

If your desire is not to help them not hurt you, themselves, or others, please understand your condemnation may temporarily alleviate the problem, but it won’t heal or make whole. Thus, you will probably keep getting the same results. If this is what you are experiencing and it hurts you, and seems to be unchangeable, modify your ties with the person (notice I did not say “cut them off”) simply modify your ties (giving space is usually effective), with love. Then, live and let live. If you truly love or want the best for them you will continue to pray for their well-being and possibly hope to be around to witness their growth/maturity/transformation and encourage it (it’s a beautiful thing).

On the other hand if you find it worth your efforts and are up for the challenge, you must, I REPEAT, YOU MUST be patient and merciful. Be sure to correct them with love (in their love language not yours) and remember to use positive reinforcement. Couple every “lesson” with words of encouragement. As you begin to call them on what hurts you, remember to acknowledge their progress, strength, and remind them that you still love them. This will help them through the, many times, painful process. Remember that WE ALL have hurt others with our actions and remember how it felt when someone you loved had mercy on you or forgave you. The process may be hard at times and you may have to take a break, but if you really love them and desire for your relationship to evolve into something beautiful, stay the course. If both your efforts are genuine, your relationship will flourished into one unmatched and unbreakable.

Remember that I am speaking only of relationships with people whom you love AND you trust that the person loves you. This is key. Only love endures and have the ability to heal. If there is any doubt in your mind, listen to your gut and move on.

-Someone who has worn both shoes